When Anxiety Meets Unhelpful Communication: My Recent Experience

Have you ever found yourself on a phone call, desperately needing answers, but instead you’re met with someone who talks in circles? If you’re an anxious person like me, you know how quickly those swirling thoughts can take over.

Recently, I had an unexpected call with someone whose communication style has always frustrated me. I needed clear information about next steps—something concrete to ease my mind. Instead, I got vague responses and evasive chatter. My anxiety started to rise with every non-answer. I felt trapped between wanting to hang up and needing the information only they could provide.

It wasn’t until I challenged their credentials—something I rarely do—that I finally got a straight answer. But by then, my anxiety was through the roof. Why did it have to be so hard? Why couldn’t they just answer the question?

Why This Happens

For those of us who struggle with anxiety, uncertainty is a major trigger. When we don’t get clear answers, our minds fill in the blanks with worst-case scenarios. Communication that lacks clarity or feels dismissive can make us feel powerless and unheard, which only adds fuel to the anxiety fire.

The Avoidance Trap

My instinct in these moments is often to avoid—hang up, disengage, or shut down. But avoidance, while it might bring short-term relief, actually makes anxiety worse in the long run. It reinforces the idea that these situations are unbearable, making it harder to face them next time.

What Helped Me Get Through

• Advocating for myself: Even though it was uncomfortable, I pushed for the answers I needed.

• Recognizing the pattern: I realized this wasn’t about me being “difficult”—it was about needing clarity to manage my anxiety.

• Reflecting afterward: Giving myself space to process the call helped me reset.

What I’m Learning

• It’s okay to need clarity. Wanting direct answers isn’t a flaw—it’s a valid need, especially for those of us managing anxiety.

• Self-compassion matters. Instead of beating myself up for feeling anxious or confrontational, I’m learning to treat myself with kindness.

• Small steps help. Each time I face these situations, I try to take one small step forward—whether that’s asking a follow-up question or simply staying on the call a bit longer.

Tips for Handling Anxiety in Difficult Conversations

• Prepare if you can: Jot down specific questions or points you need addressed.

• Shift your focus: Try to center the conversation on your needs, not just your nerves.

• Practice mindfulness: Pause, breathe, and ground yourself in the present moment.

• Remember your strengths: You’ve handled tough conversations before. Each time, you build resilience.

If you relate to this, know you’re not alone. Communication can be challenging for anyone, but especially for those of us living with anxiety. With practice, self-compassion, and a few strategies, it does get easier.

Have you had a similar experience? How do you handle anxiety when you need answers but get only frustration? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear from you.